


housed by your warmth

by beebolovesyou



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Basically me ranting, F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 09:21:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17363339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beebolovesyou/pseuds/beebolovesyou
Summary: The reflection of herself in the mirror is a sad view, mascara is ruined and smeared over her cheeks, green eyes are bloodshot due to all the crying and her usually immaculate hairdo is in a tragic state so she gets rid of it before washing her face. Lena stares at her dripping bare face on the mirror, hoping she could look better now that Kara is probably going to break up with her.





	housed by your warmth

 

 

 

Lena is making her mandatory cup of coffee when Kara steps out of the bedroom, walking all the way with her eyes closed until she stumbles with Lena’s back and attaches herself like a kola to the other woman. Lena smiles, caressing the forearm across her belly.

"Good morning, love" she greets, Kara mumbles something against her shoulder.

"What was that?"

Kara makes an effort to speak more clearly “I said, I hate Mondays"

Lena laughs, spinning around inside the restrictive embrace to face her sleepy girlfriend, Kara's hair is a tangled mess and there's a line across her cheek, probably from the pillow, but Lena still thinks she looks like a million bucks.

"We forgot to turn off the red lights last night," Lena says, stroking the carving in Kara’s left cheek. “you go sit in the sun, I'll bring you coffee"

Kara nods but doesn't let Lena out of her tight hold “I need my morning kiss first" Kara demands, eyes finally opening to take in the beauty of the woman she loves. Lena leans forward and they kiss lazily, like they do every morning. When they part Kara has all but forgotten is Monday morning and smiles brightly, Lena turns around to look for coffee cups and the blonde walks away satisfied.

After arranging their coffee cups Lena goes over to the balcony, where Kara has decided to take off her shirt and sit to sunbathe in her sports bra and sleep shorts. Lena sits on her lap and hands her over her respective supergirl mug.

 Kara welcomes her into her lap happily "thanks, baby"

They sip contently at their coffee, basking in the early sunshine rays as Lena drops small kisses over Kara’s clavicles and the blonde purrs. Their calm morning starts to fill with the chaotic noises of the increasingly awaking National City. Two years ago, Lena would've been in her office before the sunrise, always the first person to arrive at the office. But Kara had all but prohibited her leaving the house before seven, refusing to let her continue her workaholic routine.

 "You left last night, what happened?" Lena asks, remembering that Kara had flown out the window and stayed out over an hour.

"Oh there was an umm, a fire" Kara answers vaguely and then gulps down her coffee. Lena furrows her brows, usually, Kara is ecstatic to tell her all about her superheroing duties. She wants to ask but her girlfriend is standing quickly, carrying Lena in bridal style inside. 

"I am going to make us breakfast while you get ready for work, kay?" Kara says, laying her down gently and taking the empty mug from her.

 "Just promise you won't burn anything this time" Lena whines jokingly.

Kara rolls her eyes "it was only one time this month. Now go and wash the sweat out of your stinky body"

"Oh you weren't complaining about sweating last night, were you?" Lena says winking and walking away.

Kara spanks her butt lightly when she turns around "behave, Miss Luthor"

When Lena walks out of the bedroom in her expensive red bottom shoes, Kara has breakfast set up and is staring anxiously at her phone. Lena sits in front of her French toast and eggs plate, Kara's pancake stack is leaning in a comical way given the size of it and Lena knows that Kara probably ate some already.

They chat over breakfast about everything and nothing, entranced in their own little bubble before Lena has to leave for work. Lena picks up her coat and purse, Kara meets her at the door putting her arms around her as soon as she is in reach and kissing her.

"I love you" Kara says when they part.

"I love you too, darling" Lena responds, opening the door and stepping out. Kara leans on the door frame and watches her go.

"Lena, wait!" Lena turns around to find Kara running behind her, shirtless in the hallway of their apartment complex. She gives her an inquiring look.

Kara cradles her face between her hands and kisses her again, Lena giggles inside the kiss.

"Sorry, I just- you look stunning today, and every day" Kara explains. And even after two years Lena still blushes.

"You don't look so bad yourself" Lena trails her nails over glorious exposed abs and watches the muscle twitches. "In fact, it's really hard to leave when you are standing here like this, but I would prefer not to get schooled by Jess for being late again so... hey! No-uh, don't pout at me"

"Ugh, fine" Kara crosses her arms, and despite Lena's request she is still pouting, so Lena kisses it away until she's smiling again.

"See you later, baby," Lena says walking away, Kara waves her goodbye with a dreamy expression.

_ _ _

Lena twists the key and pushes the door open a little over eight pm, Kara is there in the blink of an eye. The first couple of months after moving in together Lena couldn’t even open the door herself because Kara always heard her coming and got excited that she was home. It was incredibly sweet, but Lena had convinced her to loosen up, worried Kara would think she was overdemanding.

“Hey, babe” Kara said, stealing a quick kiss and reliving Lena from her purse. Lena takes off her coat and hangs it before she is getting dragged to the couch by her girlfriend.

“how was your day?” Kara asked handing her a glass of water, conscious that she probably hadn’t drink anything aside form coffee at the office, and then kneeling to strip Lena from the uncomfortable shoes with delicate hands.

“It was good, we had a really big breakthrough in the vaccine today” Lena reaches to run her hands over blond hair, just as Kara finishes discarding her shoes “thank you, love”

“Always” Kara responds, resting her head on Lena’s thigh enjoying the fingers scratching her scalp.

“How was yours?” Lena asks.

“Good! I stopped a train wreck in Amsterdam at noon and a couple robberies here”

“Oh, so that’s why you have gravel on your hair” Lena pulls a tiny grey rock out of Kara’s hair.

Kara looks up apologetically “sorry, I was going to take a shower but I had to finish an article for tomorrow”

“Are you done?”

“Yeah, I just have to make few adjustments but-“Kara gets interrupted by Lena’s fingers tracing lovingly over her lips.

“How about you finish up quickly and I’ll run you a bath?” Lena offers. Kara nods, getting up and running to her laptop, typing frenetically.

Lena smiles at the sight and heads for the bathroom. Ten minutes later she pulls Kara to the bathroom, undressing her on the way and stands closely as her girlfriend gets in the tub letting out a moan at the warm water relaxing her muscles, which is only possible thanks to the soft red lights installed in their bathroom (and bedroom) otherwise the water could be boiling and Kara wouldn’t even feel it.

Kara stays still while Lena washes her hair, getting rid of all the dirt from her earlier rescuing, the blonde sings a soft tune and sneaks as many kisses as she can.

“Aren’t you gonna get in with me?” Kara delivers her best puppy eyes, Lena shakes her head but ends up inside the tub anyway, held firmly by the reporter.

A while later they get out of the tub and munch on some leftovers whilst rewatching Mulan. Lena is putting away the dishes when Kara’s phone rings and the girl grabs it quickly, sliding into the balcony to pick up. Lena thinks is weird for her to pick up her phone outside, but tries not to get in her head too much, and when Kara walks back in to sweep her off her feet with a toe-curling kiss her worries quickly disappear. 

Until they return full swing on Friday evening. While Kara is attending a Supergirl emergency her forgotten phone goes off, Eliza’s name shining on the screen. Lena answers, something she’s used to doing when kara is on duty.

“Eliza? Hi, everything’s been good, how about you?” Lena listens to the soothing voice of the older woman as they talk amicably. Lena had expected for Eliza to be totally opposed to her relationship with Kara, but to her surprise, the woman welcomed her warmly with little hesitation, and last year when they spent Christmas on Midvale she had treated Lena like one of her own daughters.

“Of course, I’ll make sure she calls as soon as she gets back. No, I swear I haven’t been overworking, your two girls won’t even let me try to. Okay, thank you, Eliza… bye” Lena hangs up.

Just as she’s about to put the phone down when she notices that there’s an open text conversation, which she wouldn’t ever see if Kara wasn’t the type of person that doesn’t lock her phone. It only picks up her attention because it’s evident that Kara has been erasing the messages and she never does that.

**(Friday 4:30)**

**Britany: see you at 8 again?**

**Kara: yup (smiley emoji)**

**Britany: your girl isn’t going to notice right**

**Kara: I’ll make something up, you just worry about being ready when I get there, I’ve got her clueless (winking emoji)**

**Britany: oh just wait for it**

**Britany: you’re going to be breathless after I am done**

Lena stares at the phone blankly for what feels like an eternity, trying to make sense of it all and only gets pulled back to reality when she hears boots on the balcony. She drops the phone and slips a fake smile on as if on reflex to not show her ongoing emotions. It's 11:40 when Kara gets home and kisses her like nothing is happening, and Lena barely feels anything at all.  

_ _ _

Yesterday she had been numb, and this morning she had managed to hold herself together long enough to make a cheap excuse about an eventuality at the lab to get away from home. Now, in the silent space of her office she finally breaks apart, fishing the bottle of scotch she keeps stashed for impromptu breakdowns like this one.

She chugs directly, forgoing the glass because she intends on finishing the bottle anyway. Wincing at the taste she slumps in her chair, this is a fucked up coping mechanism and she knows it, but right now Lena is looking desperately for the burn of her throat to replace the burn of her heart.

About a quarter in she starts crying, clinging onto the bottle like a small child would cling to a teddy bear. She can almost hear Lillian mocking her lack of self-control, laughing about how she’s grown soft. Of course she doesn’t want to believe that sweet, loving, considerate Kara is cheating on her, but her brain has already taken her to the dark place where it makes sense.

It makes sense that sweet, loving, considerate Kara is cheating on flawed, damaged, emotionally insecure Lena. It makes sense that she would get tired of her eventually because what does she even has to offer to someone like Kara? Why would Kara stay with somebody like Lena, when she could have any woman or men in the world?

Lena takes another swing of the bottle. She knows that this is a rather dramatic response and she hates it, the fact that instead of rationalizing anything she is hiding in her office to cry by herself on a Saturday morning. This isn’t even the first time she’s been cheated on or the third, therefore it should be easier to digest. Only that it isn’t, the meaningless relationships of her past can’t compare, they had been next to nothing, and Kara…well, she’s everything. And now Lena is sitting here, lonely and filled with amber liquid.                                    

By two o’clock Lena is laying on the floor of her private office bathroom, thanks greatly to the scotch but also because thinking of Kara with somebody else has twisted her guts. The cold floor leaves her shivering, and a mean inside voice keeps screaming all the things she’s done to drive Kara away, to have her seeking a stranger’s bed.

Kara breaks her pity party at three, doesn’t ask too many questions and instead, she picks Lena up and flies her home. When they get there she makes Lena drink two full glasses of water and then cuddles her in bed, and Lena lets her. Kara is worried, she can tell by the uninterrupted crinkle in her forehead she’s sported since finding her wasted and Lena knows she wants to ask a thousand questions so she can fix whatever is wrong, but Kara also knows that being too vocal right now might make her girlfriend close up, especially with a very wasted Lena. 

Lena on her part leans recklessly into the comfort of Kara’s body and weeps quietly. If she’s going to lose her tomorrow, she might as well give in today. So Lena kisses her, Kara responds just as passionately as she always does and Lena can’t help but cry louder until she passes out on top of Kara’s chest.

When she wakes up later in the darkness of the unlit room, there are indicative sounds that Kara is in the kitchen. Lena buries her face into the pillow sniffing the characteristic smell of the woman she loves, the subtle scent that she’s associated with safety.

It takes all of her strength to untangle from the sheaths and walk to the bathroom. The reflection of herself in the mirror is a sad view, mascara is ruined and smeared over her cheeks, green eyes are bloodshot due to all the crying and her usually immaculate hairdo is in a tragic state so she gets rid of it before washing her face. Lena stares at her dripping bare face on the mirror, hoping she could look better now that Kara is probably going to break up with her.

Her eyes drift off over the reflecting surface, Kara is standing behind her and the worried expression is still firmly plastered on her face. She spins Lena around gently by her hips and swipes a soft towel over her face to dry her.

“Are you hanged over yet?” Kara inquires when she’s done, hands still glued to Lena’s hips. The shorter girl just nods, the throbbing of her head finally catching up.

Kara smiles sympathetically and brushes some wet hairs on her forehead. “I have some aspirins for that. Also, I cooked dinner” Lena groans at the mention of food.

“Lee” Kara says in the warning tone she uses every time Lena doesn’t take proper care of herself “you left before breakfast, have you even eaten anything today?” the guilty look on her girlfriend’s face is all the corroboration she needs.

Kara sighs, rubbing circles into Lena’s hipbone “you are going to take your meds, have dinner and then we can talk about what is going on… please?”

Lena has never wanted to run away from a conversation so badly, if Kara sits down to tell her that she doesn’t love her anymore, Lena is for sure going to be swimming in a pool of her own tear by the end of the night. But there’s no way to delay something like this, is not like Lena can pretend she doesn’t know what she knows, the feeling of worthlessness has already been consuming her and it’s only been a day.

“Okay” Lena utters resigned to her fate.

After Lena has taken two aspirins and swallowed down just the minimum amount of food to stop Kara form complaining they sit down on the couch. Kara looks at her expectantly, Lena stares at her hands nervously, only now realizing there was a probability that Kara might get angry at her for invading her privacy. Meanwhile, Kara’s patience is running out because her girl looks troubled and sad, and she hates it.

“Please talk to me, baby whatever is going on in that head of yours, I want to help” Kara pleads, scooting closer and taking one of her hands.

Lena nods, sitting straighter and putting on her business mask on. But then she meets blue eyes and her whole act crumbles before it has the chance to even start, she can’t pretend she’s not hurt or scared, she can’t pretend with Kara.

“I…you-“ she tries to say something, anything at all but fails. Kara squeezes her hand reassuringly, sensing her struggle.

“You were acting weird this morning, and last night after I talked to Eliza. Can you tell me why?” Kara questions, offering her a starting point.

“I- I am upset about something” Lena says with a strained voice.

“Is it something I did?” Lena nods. “Okay, lay it on me” Kara states vehemently.

Lena hesitates. Once the cat is out of the bag there is no going back, once she acknowledges this there will be no more home to come to, no more lazy mornings cuddled in bed. She swallows heavily, this is how she loses the love of her life? If she ignores it she can stay, if she shuts up she can hold onto Kara, if she shuts up its like nothing ever happened, if-

“Lena” Kara calls, ducking her head to get her attention “you’ve got to stay here with me okay? No hiding inside your thoughts. Remember that really bad fight we had last year?”

“Yeah” Lena remembers, she had fallen inside a pit of self-loathing after Lex’s latest attempt against her life had resulted in a solar flared Kara with two broken ribs. She had convinced herself that Kara was better off without her, packed her things and been off the radar for a whole week convinced Kara would understand and let their relationship fall apart. Kara was pissed, like fuming pissed, but she had refused to Lena’s attempts. _Us_ , she had said, I am never giving up on us.

 _'But she did'_ , Lena thinks, Kara had finally figure out that Lena was not enough.

“I saw your texts with Britany.” Lena confessed.

Kara’s eyes widen“what did you-“

“Only a part of it, you had erased the rest. But it was easy to put two and two together” Lena shrugs.

“Oh,dear Rao. No, no, no” Kara let go of her to run anxious hands through her hair. “This has been my worst nightmare for two months, fuck…”

“T-two months?” Lena choked on the words “you’ve been… for two months?”

Kara jumped from the couch and started pacing “yup, two months hiding it and I had to just go and screw it up now, crap how am I supposed to fix it?”

Lena felt her eyes welling, two months of concealed infidelity and from the looks of it Kara hadn’t planned on letting her know. She wanted to ask why What had driven Kara to finally get tired of her? But that was a dumb question since Lena knew exactly all of the things that were wrong about her. So could she really blame Kara?

“It’s okay, you don’t have to fix it.” Lena spoke with trembling lips “I just want you to be happy. So if this woman is what makes you happy I-I won’t get in the way of it”

Kara stopped dead in her tracks, head snapping to look at Lena in perplexity “what?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Kara. You don’t want me anymore? I get it. So- so you’re free to pursue whatever is that you want with this Britany person” Lena said between sobs.

“Lena…”

“No. please don’t give me your pity right now. I am used to this, things are wonderful for a while and then the other shoe drops, that’s how my life has always been. The fucked up thing is I never learn, you know? I keep hoping, is like a damn disease. I keep hoping for life not to kick me in the face but I guess-“

Kara grabs the hand that’s been outrageously gesturing along her outburst and pulls her off the couch and against her.

“Lena, I’m not cheating on you” Lena tries to back away but Kara keeps her in place.

“but-“ she tries to argue

“Lee, look at me” Kara nudges at her chin, and Lena stares at bright blue eyes “I am not cheating on you” Lena believes her, because Kara has always been an awful liar and this is most definitely not a lie at all.

“You’re not?” Lena asks, Kara shakes her head. “Who the hell is Britany then?” she asks exasperatedly, while brushing away her tears briskly.

“I can’t tell you” Kara whines childishly “but I am not cheating, I swear!” 

“Oh god, I just made a scene didn’t I” Lena crosses her arms, trying to shield herself from the embarrassment. “Leave it to me to spy on you and then fuss about it”

A part of her is ecstatic that Kara is not in love with some other woman, another part of her is telling her ‘ _of course your insecure ass did, why Kara would even want to deal with that mess?_ ’

“Don’t do that, Lena ” Kara cups her face “this isn’t your fault at all, okay. I’ve… kind of been hiding something, not an affair though!”

“Then what is it?" Lena furrowing her brows.

Kara huffs and clasps her face tighter so that her lips are pursed, staring at her lovingly "give me till tomorrow okay? Trust me until tomorrow and it'll all make sense and that is if your beautiful brain hasn't figured it out yet"

"Figuring out what? Are you leaving me?" Lena mumbles struggling with her squashed cheeks and still frowning, looking very much like a moody child.

Kara flinches at the mere idea "Lena, I would never do that. You’re the most wonderful thing about my life, you know? And also the most unpredictable one, beyond me being sent to a whole other planet or being able to carry entire planes in my back. This, the way I love you and that you love me back- you, brilliant, compassionate, funny, absolutely breathtaking creature- is the one thing I would have never been able to imagine i could experience." Kara finalizes, knowing smile on her lips because there is nothing she's ever wanted to be as definitive as them,  _forever_.

Lena looks at her in fascination "tomorrow?" is all she can mutter.

Kara kisses her briefly before speaking "tomorrow"

 _ _ _

"Hello? Brit, I need it for tomorrow. Mhm, I fucked it up I know- yes, I will give you your ten bucks you brat, but only if you have it ready for tomorrow. No, she doesn't know that much, is quite the story... the point is I need it for tomorrow okay?"

Kara is rushedly whispering in the living room, Lena is back in their bedroom laying in the perfect mayhem of tangled sheets and discarded clothes.

"I am aware is a week early but I have to do this tomorrow, you said it was practically ready yesterday, didn't you? Yes, I've already called Alex, everything is ready... well, as ready as it is going to be anyways. Oh, thank Rao, okay. I'll see you then, that is if I don't die of nerves first. Thank you, Brit"

She lets go of her contained breath as soon as the call was finished. Then she quietly susurrates a prayer to Rao, to grant a blessing over her intentions and then crawls back into bed with the knowledge she wont be able to sleep. So she watches over Lena, tracing the constellation of her bare skin and fantasizing about their future.

_ _ _

Sunday morning is spent lazily cuddling in bed. At some point, Kara brings brunch to bed and Lena wants to roll her eyes but she can’t find the will to when Kara slides through the door in her stupidly cute pink slippers, singing n’sync loudly. 

Around 2 pm they finally take a shower, and Lena rejoices in the feeling of closeness as they press together in the steam filled bathroom. Kara shampoos her hair with a soft massage that gets rid of the last remnants of her groggy hangover, dropping quick kisses over her forehead.

Lena still has questions flooding her mind, but Kara fills her heart so thoroughly that it overwrites whatever anxious thoughts she might be having. She doubts herself constantly, whether she’s good enough or not, yet when it comes to trusting Kara she has no issues at all. So whatever her girlfriend need to tells her, Lena is content to let her on her own accord.

Lena has just finished drying her hair when there’s a knock on the door.

“Kara! Are you waiting for somebody?” Lena calls form their room and gets meet by silence, so she walks into the living room in search of her girlfriend “Kara?”

Maybe there was some robbery that demanded Supergirl’s attendance, Lena thinks. The knocking gets more urgent so she goes to answer.

“One second!” Lena opens the door still on her bathrobe “Alex?”

“Jeezz, you were taking your sweet time” Alex complains, stepping inside.

Lena follows her in slight confusion “I- sorry, Kara just went out… I think”

“I know, little Luthor” Alex strolls to the freezer and extracts a beer (which Lena would give her crap about if it weren’t for the fact that they only stack beer for Alex in the first place).

“I am actually here for you”

Lena chuckles “I didn’t know we were having quality time today, Lexie”

Alex gives her a dirty look “don’t call me that, I hate it” the smile that creeps on her makes it clear she doesn’t actually hate it. “Come on, get ready or I will dig into your wines next”

“Don’t you dare” Lena warns playfully “Alex... no offense but, I actually have something to discuss with your sister so could we, like, hang out some other time?”

“wow, okay firstly, ouch. I thought I was your favorite” Alex says, hand dramatically on her chest “secondly, I was assigned to take you somewhere by Kara so, chop chop!”

“What? Where-“

“shhhhh, cant spill. Wear something warm”

Twenty minutes later Alex is driving them to some unknown location. Lena fidgets with the sleeves of her green sweater and sneaking side looks to her girlfriend’s sibling.

“Should you drink and drive?” Lena says with a teasing smile.

Alex laughs “I had one beer, Lena. Don’t question my sobriety”

“I am not questioning your sobriety, I am denying the existence of your sobriety”.

Alex clears her throat “funny of you to say that. I heard you had a bad encounter with some scotch yesterday”

 Lena groans “she told you?”

 “That you were convinced that she was cheating and tried to drown your sorrows pathetically in your office? Of course she told me, I am her sister”

 “You’re never going to drop this are you?” Lena says quietly and covers her face.

 Alex squints at her and smirks “nop. She got really worried when she tuned in to you, and the only thing louder than your sobbing was back to black. Like, did you played that on a loop or...?”

“Alex!” Lena is mortified.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry” Alex surrenders with a laugh. Her look softens and she reaches to put a hand on Lena’s shoulder “for the record, my sister has no eyes for anyone else since she met you. I mean the way she looks at you, is both borderline pornographic and disgustingly sweet”

Lena snorts but reaches for Alex’s hand, thankful for the reassurance.

“But, if she were to ever do something of the sort I would gladly beat her ass. Okay little Luthor?” Alex offers.

Lena nods “thanks, Alex. You’ve always been my favorite Danvers” she delivers her best puppy eyes.

Alex looks at her dead in the eye “nice try, but I am not telling you where we are going, Lena”

Lena sticks her tongue out and Alex pushes her playfully before focusing on driving- at some point she plays back to black just to spite the younger woman, but Lena takes it good-humoredly- until they reach their destination on what looks like the middle of the desert, Lena hadn’t even noticed they were getting out of the city.

Alex stops the car and checks her watch making a little noise of approval, then she turns more fully to face Lena. “Kara loves you a lot, and so do I- don’t give me that look, I do have feelings. Just…know you’re family now, okay? And family takes care of each other”

 “Alex… you’re such a softie” she says with a beaming smile. Alex rolls her eyes and Lena can see she wants to brush it off and say something clever in benefit of her tough reputation, so she jumps in first “I love you too”

Alex smiles coyly “yeah, well, maybe if you give me some of your wine...”

Lena frowns “don’t push it”

 The moment is over when a big clouding of dust happens in front of the car, Lena is slightly frightened for a couple of seconds before the cloud dissipates and she gasps.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“Oh yeah, baby!” Alex shouts excitedly, getting out of the car. Lena follows her.

“Why is it here?” Lena asks stepping closer to the shiny silver spaceship. “I’ve never seen it out of the DEO”

“Well, is technically Kara’s but she really doesn’t have a place to store it. As for why is here, it was the only option that didn’t take like ten hours to get you across. Now, hop on”

“What? Why?”

Alex rolls her eyes, pressing some hidden cue that slides the pod open “so that my sister doesn’t melt my face off for you being late”

“Okay, are you coming with me?” Lena asks. Still not a fan of flying.

“No, you guys got to talk dummy. Don’t worry, this baby will take you on a smooth ride” Alex says while petting the alien ship. Alex starts to walk back to the car when she feels a hand tugging on her jacket.

“I- thank you for… you know” Lena points vaguely to the car. Alex turns around and hugs her.

When she steps out of the embrace Alex helps her climb inside the pod, and she’s about three meters high when Alex screams something that has her smiling despite her reluctance to flights.

“You’re stuck with us, Luthor!”

_ _ _

It takes 15 minutes for the pod to arrive at its destination, the whole time Lena sits in front of the control panel, staring at the Kryptonian symbols in an effort to not look out to the blurry colors created by the high velocity. She couldn’t avoid thinking about how Kara had spent 24 years trapped in this tiny pod, in solitude as a young child. The phantom zone had made it seem like a small amount of time, but Kara still has sporadic nightmares that Lena learned to hold her through.

As the pod losses altitude, Lena gasps, recognition hitting her as soon as her eyes roam over the landscape. It’s not exactly familiar because Lena has only been here once in her adult life, but there’s no mistaking it. The blue and the green collide in the sun, Atlantic Ocean meeting grass covered land in the most outstanding way Lena has ever seen, and there at the edge is Kara waving in the direction of the spaceship.

Lena laughs, ' _unbelievable_ ' she thinks. The pod lands softly when the transparent lid slides open the salty air fills her lugs, the wind ruffles her hair and Lena feels like she’s being greeted by an old friend. Lena knowns form Lionel that her mother was Irish, which was why she had chosen a boarding school in Belfast to get away from Lillian’s grip after his death.

 Her mother was from Belfast and that was all she had managed to dig out, given that Lillian and Lionel had made massive efforts to erase any reminder of the shameful affair and therefore of her biological mother. It wasn’t until years later, after Lex was consumed by madness, that she would find something in his office (previously her father’s) a faded photo of a small toddler waving at the camera while a dark-haired woman holds her tiny hand, looking down at her in adoration with a grin that reminds Lena painfully of her own, the outline of the cliffs and the sea behind them. Scribbled on the back in delicate cursive: _Cliffs of Moher, 1996_.

Kara had known about the picture before they even started dating, and when they moved in together she had convinced Lena to frame it and hang it on their apartment beside her paintings of Krypton, Kara had smiled widely at the depiction of Lena's infant self. Just like she is doing now as she runs over to the pod.

“Hey, stranger” Kara greets as she helps the younger woman out “good thing you made it, I was starting to think Alex had kidnapped you- why are you wearing a sweater and jeans? I told Alex that-“

“Alex failed to mention I was being shipped to Ireland,” Lena says, laughing in incredulity and tugging on Kara’s hand to lead them closer to the cliff’s edge. The view is heartbreakingly beautiful, even if the height scares her a little.

“Was the ride okay? I would have brought you myself but I had to pick up something, and I also thought you would freak out less in the pod than just with my arms around you- especially crossing the Atlantic so”

Lena turned to face Kara, not at all surprised that she was also a heartbreakingly beautiful view. “I always feel safe with your arms around me” Lena points out, pecking Kara’s lips before biting her own lip in thoughtfulness “although you do take turns too fast”

Kara scoffs “no, I don’t” Lena raises her eyebrows “okay I do, not when I am carrying you though!”

Lena hums in agreement “I appreciate that, baby” she leaves a trail of kisses over her girlfriend’s strong yaw, then continues talking “thank you for being gentle with me”

“Are we still talking about my flying skills” Kara questions

Lena duckes her head bashfully “yeah, but also about me throwing a tantrum and accusing you of cheating on me, admittedly not my brightest moment. I am sorry”

Kara shakes her head “don’t apologize about that, Lena”

“But I jumped to conclusions so quickly and didn’t even asked you- oh gosh I insinuated that you where the kind of person who cheats” Lena hides he face in her hands ashamed

“I think you got caught up in your own head and it was nobody’s fault, just a small miscommunication, that’s all” Kara says calmly, caressing Lena’s hands to make her uncover her face.

Lena puts her arms around herself self-consciously “it’s just, you give me so much and- I can’t believe this is how i repay you, by being an insecure asshole”

“Lee, this isn’t about repaying me anything. I love you so much and” 

“I love you too” Lena whispers, unable to not say it back.

Kara smiles “and I try to give you as much as you give me. Rao, Lena, I want to give you everything because that’s what you are to me. That’s what it feels like to be around you, like I am holding the whole world in my hands” the blonde clasps a hand in Lena’s as if to demonstrate “sometimes I think there is no way in hell that I deserve you, and in those days you tell me I do, you’re so stubborn I just have to believe you” Lena laughs, she does tend to be hardheaded “I also know there are days you think you don’t deserve me, days where is my turn to remind you, you absolutely do. And I don’t think that is a burden, but a gift.” Kara finishes candidly.

Lena’s heart flutters “you mean everything to me too, Kara” it doesn’t nearly come close to conducting the true feeling behind it so Lena kisses her deeply, hoping it will be more expressive.

They stand there for a while in simple quiet, Kara gives away her jacket and puts an arm around her shoulders, relaxing in the slight tug of the wind and observing the amazing scenery.

“She would have liked you, I think,” Lena says later. “My mother, I mean.”

Kara nods “I think I would have liked her too, and I am sure she would be very proud of her daughter” the reporter says, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

Lena blames the blushing on the cold instead of the praise. “You do know you didn’t need to bring me all the way to Ireland to tell me all of this?” she bumps her hips playfully against Kara’s.

“Well about that…” Kara laughs nervously and retracts her arms from across Lena’s shoulders.

“What?” Lena turns fully, interest peaked.

“You’ve always said to me that it feels like home when you come here, right?” Kara asks, shifting her stance keenly.

Lena smiles and looks around fleetingly, sighs profoundly. She doesn’t remember much of her life here as a child and she certainly doesn’t have the normal attachments someone else would about their natal country, and yet regardless Lena has this weird feeling on her chest as if her body knows this is where she’s from.

“Aside from you, this is where I feel at home, yes” Lena verifies. Kara receives the answer with a relieved smile.

“I just, I never got to meet your mom and it- it is important in traditional Kryptonian courtship to prove myself a worthy partner to your house, and now that I think about it also in earthly costumes- I guess I thought this would be the closest thing to it, but maybe it was silly of me” Kara stumbles on her words and Lena notices something unusual.

“Kara, baby, that’s very sweet but… why are your hands shaking?” she says worriedly.

Kara flexes her hands rapidly “yeah, sorry I am a little nervous now” the blonde takes a series of shallow breaths to steady herself and then she stares at Lena, and Rao does she look beautiful. With the rays of the golden hour shining on her face and her black lacy hair blowing in the wind, cheeks painted pink by the unyielding marine breeze, clad on Kara’s jacket with her head slightly tilted on an inquisitive expression. It stupefies Kara for a couple of seconds to just be confronted with such beauty, every cell in her body is screaming her to just _‘never let her go’_

Kara listens. 

“there’s no way you could have known this so just don’t feel bad about it but- Brit is actually married and has two beautiful little girls with her partner” Lena winces at the information, embarrassed by her early assumptions, Kara smiles tenderly at the action “I actually met her in college when she was taking a semester abroad and we became pretty good friends- we had a lot in common since we were both refugees on earth” Kara reaches for an inside pocket in her jacket that Lena hadn’t even noticed and extracts a small box she definitely didn’t felt in spite of wearing it for about teen minutes.

Kara continues “did you knew that Infernians are the greatest blacksmiths in the galaxy?” Kara fidgets with the box, Lena shakes her head. “Well they are and um- I picked this up in London an hour ago from her shop” Kara stills her hands and Lena can finally takes a good look at the little box, covered in navy blue velvet, and with all of those romantic comedies her girlfriend has made her watch is impossible for her to remain oblivious.

Her head snaps up to look at Kara, wide-eyed. Is this what she thinks it is? If it is, she might faint.

Kara must pick on the sound of her raging heartbeat because she takes a moment to brush her fingers over Lena’s cheekbone on a soothing motion.  

“This wasn’t supposed to happen until next week but honestly the waiting was killing me anyway” Kara retrieves her hand from Lena’s face and flicks open the box. Lena stares at the ring, the elegant silver band holds a row of small diamonds across the front and in the middle of said row there’s a big sparkling 1.25 carat round cut diamond- and Lena only know that because she herself had snooped around for rings but had decided against buying one because what if it was too soon? Oh how have the tables turned.

“No you’re not” Lena is stunned and her immediate thought process is that she has to be dreaming “you’re not” she repeats.

“Yes, I am” Kara upholds, dropping onto one knee gracefully and keeping her eyes fixated on Lena’s. “This is what I want to do for the rest of my life, being with you. Beyond everything else. I have no idea what might happen in ten or twenty years, but what I do know is that when I think about it I always see us, that alone already makes the future less scary. After I lost Krypton- I didn’t think that I would find a home again or that I would find someone that I’d love as dearly, yet turns out I have. Rao Lena, I can’t even try to explain how much I love you, how I belong to you with every fiber of my being” Kara’s voice is full of emotion in a disarming way that makes Lena’s legs feel like buckling.

“I want to be yours every second of every day. I want to make you breakfast and cuddle you to sleep at night and see your face when I wake up feeling like our bed is the happiest place in the universe. I want to stare at you while we are having dinner or watching a movie because I just _can’t_ take my eyes away from you.” Kara looks at her longingly “I want to promise you this is forever, and I will, in front of everyone we love.”

“So with all of that said. Lena Keiran Luthor, will you marry me?”

Lena’s brain isn't holding up really well, her usually calm and collected demeanor has left her and all she has been doing is gaping her moth ridiculously as Kara proposed. Her eyes dance pathetically between the ring and Kara who is looking at her with warm blue eyes, smiling in the most charming fashion as she kneels in the grass with her blonde curls swaying in the howling wind waiting patiently for Lena to find her voice.

“Yes” Lena whispers already urging Kara to stand up, needing to vanish any distance.

“Yes?” Kara asks like she can’t really believe it either, Lena finds it adorable.

“yes” Lena reaffirms more loudly, cupping Kara’s face and kissing her “yes” she pants parting only for a second and then drags her lips back into Kara’s inviting ones “yes, yes, yes” she oaths between shorter kisses, her voice low and husky.

Lena starts to retreat but Kara grabs her by the back of the neck to keep her in place and puts their foreheads together while she tries to catch her breath. Then she steps back to look at Lena, full of love and adoration and gently wipes away the tears Lena didn’t even felt rolling down her cheekbones.

“I think I’m supposed to put this on your finger” Kara says motioning to the open box “may I?” Lena offers her left hand and Kara slides the ring on. It’s been about five minutes but Lena is already pathetically attached to it because Kara gave it to her.

“You like it?” Kara inquires fearfully. “I made the diamonds myself so they might not be perfectly cut, is actually more difficult than I thought it would be and I accidentally crushed the firsts five- I mean I could have taken them to a jeweler for cutting but”

“You made this?” Lena says in awe.

Kara scratches her neck “mhm, Bri help me with the metal alloy for the ring band, it’s actually white gold mixed with a Kryptonian mineral similar to Nth metal and it was like a herculean task to get them to even fuse, that’s why it looks slightly like Damascus but I thought you would like it. I could have just used one metal but I sort of liked the idea of using both an earthly mineral and a Kryptonian one, but- emm we can change it if you don’t like it?”

“Kara…” of course her eyes would start watering again. Kara had been doing this for two months, making a ring just for her when she easily could have bought one. “It’s perfect, **Zhao**. I love it and it’s never leaving my hand. Thank you” Lena holds her hand over her chest protectively. Kara smiles dopily at the sentiment, then Kara is being tackled by a very joyous fiancée.

Lena hides in the crook of Kara’s neck and drops small kisses over the lean muscle, Kara giggles at the tickling sensation of Lena’s cold nose. “I can’t believe you did all this, Kara. You could have asked me on our couch and I still would’ve said yes in a heartbeat” Lena speaks closely tucked under Kara’s jaw.

“I wanted it to be special and meaningful” Kara responds simply, combing her fingers through raven hair. “And I wanted to give you the proposal you deserve, baby” 

“Ugh and I thought you were cheating” Lena mumbles embarrassedly “are you sure you still want to marry me?”

Kara leans back to catch her eye “oh hell yes, miss Luthor. I’m not backing down until I get to call you my wife”

Lena sucks in a breath “oh my god, you’re going to be my wife!” she shrieks.

Kara nods, amused by her excitement and the glint in her eyes. “yup, I get to be the luckiest wife ever” Kara coos, hooking a finger under Lena’s chin and pulling her in for a deep kiss, Lena roams her hands along her back and it all feels like heaven.

“Let’s go home, you’re getting cold and I don’t want us to be late” Kara speaks rubbing her arms to warm her up. Lena gives her a questioning look “Eliza insisted on having a celebratory dinner, she’s at home with everybody. If we wait too long Alex is going to drink all of your wine”

“Eliza knew?”

“Yes, Eliza and Sam…and Nia and Brainy. Basically, everybody knows, I am bad at keeping secrets” Kara admits guiltily.

Lena chuckles, not at all surprised by the lack of sneakiness of her future wife. She looks longingly around trying to commit the view to memory, and she can almost feel like her mom is here, smiling at her with kind green eyes. Lena has been homesick since she was a four year old in a strange household, but now she’s found both of her homes.

Kara seems to perceive her nostalgia and grabs her hand softly “I’ll bring you back on date night” she promises. Lena beams at her and squeezes her hand with a childlike hopeful look and nods.

“Let’s go, I have expensive wines to save”

“Oh wait!” Kara runs over to the pod and carefully places her phone in a convenient slit, then she trots happily back to Lena “we need an engagement photo, so I can brag online about how I am going to marry the most gorgeous woman on earth” 

Lena grins smugly “maybe I will be the one bragging” 

They take quite a few pictures but Lena’s personal favorite is one where Kara has a snug grip on the back of her tights to lift her off her feet, Lena’s hands are resting on her solid shoulders while they share a kiss, the sun and the ocean framing them, immersed in their own bubble. It's the one Lena prints and hangs in their bedroom, in the back in delicate cursive she scribbles: _Cliffs of Moher, 2019_.

**Author's Note:**

> this whole thing was kind of a mess, sorry ¯\\_('n')_/¯


End file.
